Computers Are Still Marginalized in Schools Today

May 13th, 2010 by Katie Mehrer

computers-in-schoolsIn today’s internet savvy age, many schools have become wired. Internet professionals throughout the industry have become aware of the technological advances in schools, either through observing the progress of their own school-age children, working in the education technology field, or consulting with schools seeking to advance their technological toe hold.

But how effective is the use of internet in schools? Of course, schools must be very cautious and install extensive filtration systems so that children can not access inappropriate web sites. As anyone knows who has worked in a filtered system, this does block many web sites that could be perfectly educational, so there is certainly some frustration with the internet in schools on the part of both students and teachers.

Another frustration arises when schools isolate computers into specific computer classrooms and do not integrate them into the everyday school experience. Unlike workers in today’s marketplace, students have limited exposure to technology, spending most of their class time in a more old-fashioned setting. There are numerous reasons for this, and when teachers weigh in on the situation, it certainly does begin to look complex. As educational as computers are, they do distract students from lectures and other instructional opportunities and teachers often find that the need for “immediate gratification” that computers provide does students a disservice in the long run, when so much of school involves lengthy study and ongoing learning whose results and benefits are not known until adulthood.

IT workers today have also weighed in on the conundrum of computers in schools, and many criticize teachers for being slow in acquiring computer skills. It is true, many teachers are less computer literate than their first and second grade students! This leads to misunderstandings about computer homework and misinformation where internet research is involved. Many IT professionals in schools today note that students need teachers who can inform them as to how to test internet-accessed information for factuality.

Many students are misusing technology in the sense that they take anything learned online for granted, assuming it is true. Students are not being informed of the anything-goes nature of the internet and of the fact that much of their online “research” is yielding opinion, conspiracy theory, and personal memoir masquerading as historical fact. Computer classes do tend to provide this information, but many IT professionals bemoan the very idea of a “computer class.” They say that because computers are so integral to our lives today, every class should integrate computers and every teacher should remind students of appropriate research techniques.

Librarians in schools are also having much different duties today than they once did. With fewer and fewer students utilizing library books for research, librarians are managing a lot more online content and providing far more digital media than before. It has changed the way people do research, certainly, but also the way teachers teach and the ways students learn.

With so many changes in the world of information technology, we all have a lot of work just to keep up, but no one more so than America’s schools. After all, the youth of today will be the workers, managers, and politicians of tomorrow, but the question remains: can we educate them appropriately in the technology of the future?


Should You Become a Career Coach?

May 13th, 2010 by Katie Mehrer

career-coachDid you know that most people will change careers ten to fourteen times during their lives? This is exactly why career coaching has become such a popular profession in the last decade or so. But many job seekers and career aspirants, especially older workers who have never heard of using a ‘coach’ shy away from the idea. However career coaches have actually become instrumental in terms of helping those who wish to make either horizontal or vertical moves in their careers, but more importantly they help those who wish to make their dreams come true in a more holistic way. They take into account all the client’s personal and professional aspirations, aptitudes, and lifestyle choices while considering career choices that may help to fulfill them all. Career coaches don’t  teach their client’s to “settle.” They help them to design the ideal job, get the training required, and get happily and gainfully employed for the long term.

Money magazine recently ranked coaching as the second fastest-growing profession next to management consulting, and Entrepreneur magazine cites coaching as the #1 home-based business to launch! In fact, the Harvard Business Review noted that many companies spend an estimated $1 billion each year on coaching. While career coaching is a fairly new profession, it actually builds upon a century-long history. The career development industry has been helping career aspirants for a very long time, much longer than the time that the term “career coach” has been in existence. Career coaches have simply refined the roles of career counselors and trained themselves accordingly.

The truth of the matter is, most people already know they need help with career development and job transition but don’t know where to turn. If you choose to get career training as a coach, you can use techniques that are very powerful to help clients discover ideal careers they may not have known existed.

If you have an interest in becoming certified as a career coach—something you can either do part time or transfer to as a full-time home-based career—it only takes a matter of months to become certified. If you have life experience in one field or a variety of fields, that can help as well, because of course you will want to specialize as much as possible in helping clients interested in your area of expertise. Once trained through one of numerous certification programs throughout the country, you, as a career coach, will also become connected to a worldwide coaching community, so if you have questions or wish to share experiences with other career coaches, they will always be only as far away as your computer. What a great way to find a mentor!

After all, you’ll be advising others in how to find their “dream jobs” and it will certainly involve a degree or training of some kind, obtaining the requisite experience, and finding a qualified mentor. If you decided to pursue work as a career coach, you’ll find the satisfaction of helping others is incredibly fulfilling. It is a particularly interesting sideline for those whose day-to-day jobs are not people-oriented. Career coaching will help you to find that all-important human connection.


Create a New Culture with Evidence-Based Management

May 9th, 2010 by Katie Mehrer

evidence-based-managementEvidence Based Management has proven itself one of the most innovative management styles in today’s constellation of management approaches. It reflects the wisdom of Lao Tsu and his belief that a good leader is not one who takes the helm and spearheads change, but who “leads from behind,” or respects the wisdom of the workers themselves.

Evidence Based Management has been adopted by numerous prominent business, such as hospitals, where bad decisions can have dire consequences. The style is not one for the egotist, nor is it a strategy for those whose primary objective is to control all aspects of an operation. It is, however, ideal for managers of businesses that respect efficiency and profitability as well as those less quantifiable things such as job satisfaction, pride in one’s work, and general happiness.

The first principle that Evidence Based Managers apply is not one of setting rules and objectives, but one of creating a superior business culture. In the Evidence Based business culture, workers know that there will never be a penalty for telling the truth. In fact, when management switches to this style, it vows not to terminate a single employee. Managers encourage workers to reveal inefficiencies, health risks, and recurrent frustrations not so that someone can be blamed, but so that everyone can put heads together to work out a solution.

The culture of blame is one that has brought excellent companies tumbling to the ground. Blaming is what status-oriented individuals do in order to make others look bad and themselves better by comparison. In Evidence Based Management, the culture of blame is gone and it is replaced with a culture of cooperation and honesty. How does this work? Let’s take an example.

In a hospital, patients were given wristbands in different colors to delineate their conditions. An orange wristband meant a penicillin allergy, while pink meant no allergy. These allowed doctors and nurses to prevent mistakes that might have been made if a chart wasn’t correctly examined. Well, despite the hospital’s attempt at clarity and redundancy of crucial information, a mistake was made and a patient died. Under typical management, nobody would have wanted to come forward and report on any of their fellow workers. Certainly nobody would have admitted to making the mistake themselves.  But with Evidence Based Management in place, workers felt their jobs were secure. A worker admitted that the lighting was so poor in the preparation room that she had mistaken an orange for a pink wristband. In fact, the colors were rather similar. Instead of blaming the worker, managers installed higher wattage lighting in the room and switched the pink wristband color to a bold purple so that it could no longer be confused with orange. After all, if it happened once, it could happen again, so there was no need to blame the individual who had made the mistake.

The cost of making these changes was miniscule: a couple of new light bulbs, and a phone call to the printer to change wristband color. That’s all, and many future patient’s lives were saved. This culture of improvement is the thing that makes evidence-based management so effective. It creates trust among managers and coworkers and a cooperative, rather than competitive atmosphere.


Are You a Victim of The 80/20 Principle?

May 6th, 2010 by Katie Mehrer

the-eighty-twenty-principle If you feel like you are doing more and more and achieving less and less, you might want to become familiar with the 80/20 principle. It asserts that there is an imbalance between inputs and outputs, as well as causes and consequences, that results in a minimum of the inputs, or causes, causing most of the results. That is, 20% of your actions cause 80% of the desired results. In short, a few of the things you do are important, but most are not.

This theory actually reflects relationships in nature, which combine order and disorder, regularity and irregularity. So naturally, you want to get the 80/20 principle to work for you, not against you. In order to do that, you must recognize that the theory represents the status quo at any given point in time, not as a function of work done over a period of time. In order to eliminate that 80% of unproductive work, you must examine which work is the most productive at any given time.

Most companies tend to analyze their work over a period of time, which makes sense overall, but it is also helpful to look at static moments in time. A full analysis of the production and effort expended in one day will reveal a great deal of information as to wasted efforts. When doing an 80/20 analysis, one must examine the relationships between two sets of comparable data. The resulting data is used to discover thekey causes of the relationship (the 20%) and how resources can best be put behind the best-performing efforts. The second phase of this analysis is to determine how to improve the effectiveness of the underperforming 80% of inputs.

One must apply 80/20 analysis in a systemic manner and examine the nonlinear relationships that often get neglected in a typical analysis. That means look at variables that are not usually seen as part of the production process. Rather than reevaluating those predictable variables that are typically seen as the linear results of predictable causes, look instead at unexpected results and nontypical outputs.

80/20 thinking can be applied to your daily life and can help people to change their typical behaviors. In attempting to utilize the philosophy, one must constantly ask oneself: what is the 20% that is leading to the 80%? Which aspect of my daily activities is really helping me achieve my goals, and which is just the stuff I’m used to doing out of habit? Be sure to think creatively about it and use the intuitive side of the mind.

When applied to business, the 80/20 principle is used to create the greatest stakeholder value and generate the most money with the least expenditure. Any business can gain immensely through practical application of the 80/20 principle as long as it isolates factors in order to find those which are profit generating and those that aren’t. If a department is profitable, yet its efforts seem like they should create more profit than they do, then that department should be broken down into sub-departments or even individual employees or management strategies in order for analysts to find where the wasted effort is coming from.

Most business people think that they already know which aspects of their work are most profitable, but a careful 80/20 analysis is often very revealing and can pinpoint aspects of work that have come into play merely out of habit, tradition, or assumed importance. These areas become the fat that can be trimmed to raise any business in terms of profitability and employee morale.


Defining Success

April 2nd, 2010 by Katie Mehrer

Success_FailureIn Thick Face, Black Heart, Chu brings up a couple of interesting points about “winning.” She says “Winning is a Matter of How you Keep Score.” Of course, we all know this. I know some people who consider winning to be making a lot of money, others who consider it to have something to do with status, others who consider it to mean how much good you do for the earth and its inhabitants in your lifetime. There are others who think it has something to do with how clean your kitchen is, how brilliant your children are, or how many great books you have read in your lifetime. There are as many interpretations of success and winning as there are people on this earth.

So the key to maintaining perspective on your own success is to stay grounded in your concept of winning. It’s easy not to! Because we are often surrounded by people and by media (especially) who give us a “typical” interpretation of winning—that it involves money and independence and family and fame—it’s easy to forget our own definition.

If you have lived your life seeking adventure and art, or community and family, or peace of mind, or spiritual enlightenment, it is easy to get to a certain point and find yourself saying— Hey! Wait a minute! I don’t have money, I don’t own a home, I don’t have a boat or a vacation home or a fancy car. I’m unsuccessful! But this is a huge mistake. It is a very easy one to make because people (and the media) are always trying to define you. They want to define you so they can sell you things. Don’t think there is anything going on but that. Their definition of what people should be is solely based on creating a definition that will sell you something that will help to make you feel “successful,” OR on creating a definition that will make them feel successful as compared to you.

The fact of the matter is that most “successful” people don’t feel successful. Most “rich” people don’t feel rich. Yes, a certain amount of money will surely make you more comfortable in your old age, but so will love and companionship, peace of mind, intelligence, and artistic expression. There is no one recipe for success, so whenever you are asking yourself why you haven’t accomplished what you “should have,” look back on your life so far and examine what you have really been shooting for all this time. If it wasn’t money, then it’s no surprise and shouldn’t be a disappointment if you haven’t got any. If it wasn’t family and connection to others, then again, it shouldn’t be a surprise if you haven’t got any.

This is not to say that you made a decision long ago as to your definition of success and that it can’t change. Not in the least. It can change. But you want to consciously change it, rather than unconsciously picking up social cues that suggest you should have a more typical definition of success. A lot of people have pursued idealistic versions of success in their youth, only to focus more on money and family as they get older. It’s natural, but should be a conscious switch. When people switch definitions of success without really an awareness of it, or under pressure from their spouse, this is the kind of thing that leads to the dreaded middle-aged angst. The mid-life crisis, where people realize they haven’t ever pursued their real dreams and now feel stuck in a situation where others depend on them to pursue dreams that suddenly seem false.

You are a winner. Already. Because you are the one keeping score, and you decide what gets you points. It’s your game!


Whither the Women in Information Technology?

March 30th, 2010 by Katie Mehrer

women-in-information-technologyIT workers are used to it: the techy offices are dominated by males. Women working in IT are a rare bird. Nothing new there. But why is that? In school tests, girls and boys have shown equivalent scores in math, science, and computing. Much techy work is online, and online jobs are very popular with women, especially mothers, who have historically enjoyed working from home. So why the paucity of female workers?

No one exactly knows how it got that way, but the fact of the matter is that the problem is getting worse, not better. The percentage of women in the IT world hit a high of 41% in 2004 and has been declining drastically ever since. Experts cite the fact that one out of every three women working in IT typically works in an administrative capacity, and those are the positions in greatest decline. Though it is less remarked upon, it is also true that minorities are also underrepresented in the global IT work force.

Many experts in international business claim that this lack of diversity in the IT sector is handicapping America, as this country feels the discrepancy more than others. China, India, and Europe all have more diverse tech departments in leading companies and are sometimes seen as more progressive, more flexible in the international marketplace. Anyone who wants to get into the scuffle (and probably come out of it with a few bruises) can certainly pick up the argument that there is some kind of innate difference between the sexes that explains the lack of women in science and math careers such as computing. Harvard University President Lawrence Summers himself suggested this and plenty of controversy ensued from it.

The fact of the matter is, the women’s movement has been working for decades to make it clear that women are as competent as men in any intellectual pursuit of the modern age. And this ongoing work has, largely, been successful in terms of eliminated many long-held cultural biases. So why have women not stepped up to the plate in terms of taking on IT jobs? Or is it a gross bias coming from the managerial standpoint? Many view it as particularly strange because the IT sector is one that often offers internet-commuting options, which make it even more possible for mothers to work from home. Unlike many careers where women must take time off to have and raise children (due to time pressures, stress, long hours, and travel requirements) IT work frequently presents no such challenge.

I’m afraid that I can’t offer you an answer to the question here, nor a solution to the problem. I can only state that, when compared with IT departments worldwide, America does experience the least diversity in the IT programming field. Many feel that such a lack of diversity will harm American programming in the long run. Just as women bring something new and different to the table in terms of corporate management styles and executive marketing efforts, they bring something different to the techy world as well. What will the long-term consequences be of a decline in the already low levels of female techies? Only time will tell.


Outsourcing and Offshoring Pale in Comparison to the Threats of “Offpeopling”

March 26th, 2010 by Katie Mehrer

outsourcing-and-offshoringOutsourcing and offshoring have been the catch phrases of the recession. Preventing companies from utilizing untaxed, out-of-country workers (who receive pennies for each dollar an American worker would receive) has become a central issue in business and government news. Of course, every industry has a different take on the problem. Many feel they could not survive without going overseas for cheap labor, while many others feel that if you “can’t survive” by supporting the American economy, your business has now place in the economy in the first place. But where is the issue of “offpeopling” in all of these debates?

Offpeopling is the same problem that the ludites fought against during the industrial age, only increased by ten, one hundred, or perhaps a thousand fold. Increasingly, people are losing their jobs to technology. Especially when your job is to develop the technology that may ultimately make you obsolete, this can be very disturbing. The term “luddite” is often used to refer to those who hate technology or won’t learn it, for those who are seen as primitive and unwilling to move forward. But in the 1800s, Luddites were actually those who saw machines replacing people, saw the poverty that was beginning to result, and fought the trend. Seeing what is happening today, with the “offpeopling” trend, we must ask ourselves, are today’s luddites going to be the very web programmers who put themselves out of business?

We all know that technology is making the world change faster. The challenges faced by children in school today are almost incomprehensible to their parents. Their own children will face even more challenges that will, in turn, be incomprehensible to them. The hope, of course, is that wherever jobs disappear, new jobs will reappear. Whereever skill sets disappear because they are no longer needed, new skill sets will emerge. We won’t all turn into a nation, or a world, of button pushers craving actual experience that never happens because it is all being “experienced” by machines!

The disturbing truth, however, is that nobody has yet recorded that trend. When jobs are given to computers (who in many cases are even cheaper employees than third-world workers) oftentimes another job simply does not pop up somewhere else. As computers become more and more efficient, and people’s expectations of them become higher and higher, “offpeopling” becomes a greater and greater concern in IT departments.

In fact, in recent surveys, many IT professionals note that as IT has taken over more and more of the work of the company, the IT staff has not grown. Workers are asked to do more because they are capable of doing more. As they improve, they often increase their daily work loads without even realizing it, and soon three workers are doing the work of five, without financial or other recognition for it. In this case, no workers lose jobs, it is simply a matter of a hiring freeze, but eventually workers get the feeling they are indeed being taken advantage of. This kind of “growth” also qualifies as “offpeopling.”

Offpeopling is a trend that has not come into mainstream focus yet. Unlike offshore and overseas hiring practices, companies are getting away with it with very little public outcry, but rest assured, the problem is next on the roster of troubling social changes brought about by technology.


About Boundaries

March 23rd, 2010 by Katie Mehrer

BoundaryThese days, you’d think it was a crime to ever be insecure. Every success guru and business advisor tells people to project a confident air through their clothing, their speech, their actions, their walk, everything. All of this teaches us to keep up the pretense. Don’t let anyone know when you are being human—being insecure, neurotic, paranoid, and all that. We all feel that way now and then, even the most successful, most typically self-confident among us. Says Chu, in Thick Face, Black Heart: “Only fools and saints are absolutely secure about themselves.” It’s what makes us people, not machines. But is there any way we can make neurosis and insecurity work to our advantage? Certainly, it’s been done throughout the ages.

There are those who say “fake it ‘till you make it,” and there is a certain wisdom in that as well. Especially when women are in business, they often feel a pressure to fake it; pressure to act perfectly self confident and to ensure that their inferiors know their place. Even Chu, in her book on business success, “Thick Face, Black Heart,” says yeah, you should fake it till you make it. I disagree. Strongly.

There is a way to be insecure that draws people to you instead of repels them. It works far better than fake confidence (and sometimes even better than real confidence) when it comes to creating a following, making people trust you, and gaining respect. It is a matter of having boundaries combined with being honest about yourself.

For instance, my husband says to me the other day, “I just don’t know what to say to my boss, I’m afraid if I tell him he isn’t standing up for me to our superiors then he’ll be offended, yet there isn’t anyone else I can go through. I depend on him to get my ideas across and he is dropping the ball. He isn’t doing his job, and as a result, he is making it impossible for me to do mine.” He was really perplexed, as he felt that he just couldn’t say anything without saying something wrong. So I said, “just tell him what you just told me—that you are afraid he’ll be upset or offended by what you need to tell him.”

Coming right out with your feelings and fears prepares the other person and makes them want to NOT fulfill your paranoid fantasy. It makes them want to rise above the worst that you may think of them. And if you are a boss, it isn’t weak to pull an under-performing employee into your office and tell them, “I just don’t know what to do about you. I like you and I don’t want to fire you and I know you have a family that is depending on your income. But you are underperforming, and that’s affecting my own efficiency in the eyes of my boss. I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do?”

Instead of putting the employee on the defensive, it makes him want to help you and in fact it makes him obliged to help you. He sees the pickle you are in, sees that you are a nice person but also THAT YOU HAVE BOUNDARIES. This is important. You are not going to let his bad performance drag you down. You make that clear. At the same time you make it clear that it will break your heart to fire him, but you will fire him if he doesn’t step up to the plate. Because you have been honest with him about both your insecurities and your boundaries, he now has no one to blame but himself if he ends up getting fired. You obviously did your best.

When I give this type of advice to my husband, he always says, “That’s girl stuff!” Meaning guys don’t act this way with one another. They don’t ever admit that they are feeling insecure about something. Well, guys can be guys if they want. I’m not going to get involved in that sticky wicket, but as women, we often feel like we are supposed to act like guys, supposed to pretend we don’t feel anything. It is something that makes us bad at our jobs. People like others more and blame them less when they are open about their feelings, yet clear about your boundaries. It is the perfect business strategy for women, but will only work as long as you aren’t intimidated into faking it until you make it.


Be a Procrastinator!

March 19th, 2010 by Katie Mehrer

procrastinateIn “Thick Face, Black Heart—the path to thriving, winning, and succeeding,” Chu talks about how you shouldn’t berate yourself for your negative features. Simply use them to create success for yourself. If you are greedy, go ahead and be greedy, but don’t let that greed stop at money. Let yourself be greedy for the best life for your family, for a better community, a better world. Let the greed be well-rounded and it will serve you well. Another thing we often berate ourselves for is procrastination.

In business we often feel like we must move fast, we must take action and seize the moment. There is always a sense of urgency to action. And for what? For success, of course, and money, and reputation, and . . . well simply because that is how things are done. Because it is expected. Those of us who move slower are often berated for not being on the cutting edge, not pouncing on lucrative deals as soon as they emerge. But procrastinators are underrated.

Sometimes, by not taking action right away, it allows an idea to simmer and mature. It give the mind time to get perfectly clear on what you are planning, why, and when to do it. No matter what the spontaneous types tell you, “right now” (or better yet, “yesterday”) is not always the best time to do anything. Some problems have a way of working themselves out with time that is natural and unforced. Some new ventures need to marinate in the unconscious mind for a while before the ideal methodology becomes clear. So, if you are a procrastinator, consider it an asset and don’t fight it.

Then there are those of us who are inconsistent—procrastinating one day, spontaneous the next. Brilliant one day, completely blank on another. Inconsistency is one of those “flaws” that isn’t really a flaw. Sure, those stolid folks who have the same thing for lunch each day, take the same train to work at the same time, and consider routine to be essential to life, they will harass you about being inconsistent. They simply do not see any other way to live life. Let them be. No one can pull them out of their world of routine. But imagine what the world would be like if everyone were always consistent?

Let’s see, we’d have the same kind of music across the board, the same books, the same paintings, the same architecture, the same movies. It’d be Orwellian! Besides providing variety, inconsistency has another positive side. It is the “gambling mentality.” When you are inconsistent, you are like a slot machine. People never know what they are going to get out of you. Will it be a tub-load of dubloons or a blank stare? Human psychology being what it is, this actually draws people to you. It’s the same concept as gambling—something about the fact that you don’t know what you are going to get makes you want to try that machine again and again.

So go ahead, procrastinate, be inconsistent, be yourself. Every flaw has a strength embedded in it. These things only become flaws when we chose to see them in a negative light.


Thinking for Success

March 16th, 2010 by Katie Mehrer

chimpanzee_thinking_posterIf you are a negative thinker, don’t bother with success mantras and positive-thinking chants such as “every day in every way I’m getting better and better.” Just skip it. I’m serious. Another side of the coin of negative thinking is the fact that you have a full awareness of just what your flaws are. Now that you have that awareness, thank your lucky stars for it and try to turn those flaws into springboards.

For instance, if you’re inclined to be jealous and envious of the success of others, don’t try to eliminate these thoughts. Don’t berate yourself for them. They’re natural, after all, but do utilize them to transform yourself. If you are jealous, go ahead and search within yourself for ways that you can surpass their accomplishments. Dedicate yourself to your jealousy and wield it like a tool.

If you suffer not from jealousy, but from rage at injustice, then the best revenge is your own success. Use that negative thinking to push forward and overcome and overwhelm the oppressor by becoming more successful. If you are a worrier, why pretend to be relaxed? Why put forth the image that you are willing to accept whatever dictates fate has in store? Instead, turn that worry into action and use it as a motivational force for averting disaster before it strikes.

Why pretend you are more virtuous than you are? Let’s face it, that’s what most folks do. They go around pretending they aren’t consumed by jealousy, rage, vindictiveness, and so forth. They imagine themselves to be virtuous, and sometimes they even convince themselves of it. But the reality is that we are all human, so why not use your negativities to fuel the fire of your success, rather than waste your own fuel on the energy it takes to deny them? And it does take a lot of energy to deny them.

When others are negative about your dreams and aspirations, you can do the same thing. Their statements—“you’re such a dreamer!” “Why can’t you just do what everyone else does?” “What is your problem?” “Face your limitations!”—can work simply as fuel to the fire. When you hear these things and they enrage you, that’s okay. Let them enrage you. Feel the fire building. Enjoy it and let it burn nice and hot. That’s the fire that’s going to fuel your action.

Another negativity that fuels a lot of us is disappointment in ourselves. We make resolutions, then break them. Then we feel inadequate. But really, why? You made the resolution yourself, so you have the power to unmake it, change it, alter it, or eliminate it at will. We end up acting as the law maker, law breaker, judge, jury, executioner, victim of the crime and perpetrator of the crime all at once. But why? In Thick Face, Black Heart, Chu says, “the evil is not so much in breaking the rules, but in the shame and guilt that make you judge yourself as unworthy.”

Accept your inadequacies freely without guilt or shame. Give yourself room to fail. The greatest flaw that comes of not forgiving your own failures is the tendency not to forgive those of others. But the greatest advantage of forgiving yourself is that you will become more lenient with others. Even if your flaw is not being relaxed enough, accepting it will relax you!